Distractions

Not 24 hours away from handing in my thesis, I would like to thank the following distractions.

My girlfriend.

Boards.ie

Youtube

Google - every service

MONOPOLY

My XBox 360, and to a lesser extent XBox Live

The Vienna Symphonic Library

Mozart, for all those damned piano conertos.

Beethoven, for those frickin' sonatas.

Aaron.

Microsoft's ''Age of Empires''

Broadband for providing the means to play Age of Empires over our home network.

My pc for being old and creaky, in particular the tcp/ip stack which recently became corrupt and allowed me countless hours of fun playing 'registry chicken'

And finally,

Blogspot.com, for providing me with the opportunity to spend more time procrastinating by listing the things I do to procrastinate. I call this circular procrastination.

I'll finish this later. Maybe.

Why My College Should Make the Switch to Google Docs

1. You can already use it.

If you've ever used MS Word in your life, then you already know how to use Google Documents. Google Documents looks and works just like Microsoft word

Google documents has all of the virtues of the current system - security, accountability, backup - with none of its faults - time, money, space.

2. It's on the Internet.

It's like having your computer with you anywhere in the world. You're at home and you work on a handout, a timetable, a powerpoint presentation or an essay, and when you're finished you save your file; when you come into college the next day, you log in again and all your files are there as you left them.

3. Sharing

When it comes time to submit an assignment the lecture-student relationship is made simpler for everyone. Instead of emailing yourself / burning a CD / copying to USB, you 'share' the file, meaning not that we both have a copy of the file, but that we're sharing the same file. This means no duplicates, no messy email attachments, etc.

4. Compatibibily.

Most students don't own a printer, and rely the library or PACR. If you buy a laptop today, it comes with either MS Works (the classic oxymoron) or Office 2007. Neither of these are compatible with the version of MS Office on any PC on campus.

If you own a MAC, you're further screwed.

It is impossible for any two people to have different versions of Google Docs. This means no problems with compatibility - currently a nightmare in the library. Docs at home, Docs in library / PACR, so no printing or formatting problems.

5. It saves time.

No time is wasted queuing in the library for a computer, no time is wasted trying to get the essay or whatever to look like it did on your computer at home, no time is wasted queuing for 1 of the 2 printers in the library, and no time is wasted going through the current submission process. Aaron and I went to submit two assignments each the other day to the office. We were the only people there and with all the boxes and forms it took more then ten minutes, no lie. This way saves time and money all over the place. Marie can put her - let's be honest - superhuman administrative talent to where it needs to be.

6. It saves money.

No money is spent on ink or paper, nothing can go missing or get stolen, no office space is taken up, and it's free.

We (in the Music Dept) pay 40 euro every year for a 'Photocopying Fee'. This is before we get to do any actual photocopying. For 40e, Reads of Nassau Street will give you 1,300 pages. That's enough to print the Declaration of Independence 400 times. 1,300 pages. Now, subtract the roughly 200 pages I got in notes last year, that leaves you with 1,100 pages unaccounted for. If lecturers put out notes on Google documents, and students hand up essays on Google documents, that probably saves you around 100 pages per student. I don't see a problem here.

7. It's safe

A few months ago, we finally realised that Moodle was pathetically insecure. So now we have to log in twice. Perhaps we should have two gates in the library to make sure non-students can't get in.

Google Docs is secure.

8. It's a skill

''Some students won't be able to use it'', comes the common argument. The temptation to resort to the lower common denominator is always there, but the truth is that there will always be at least one student that will have special needs, be they computer illiterate or blind. You won't find it on the curriculum, but confident use of computers and office software is a skill that we're expected to learn while we're here - I for one would think it best to be ahead of the curve in this respect, if not every possible respect.

It would be wrong to not at least try it.

9. If the Government can do it...

The District of Columbia does it. I think a university can do it.

So let's just do it already. Students are already using it, and a smart college will adapt to rational changes in student behaviour. We can start using Google Documents it in five years when we'll have to, but it's smarter to do it now. Let's just do it. We can pretend that nobody suggested this today, and stick with the current system that everybody hates, or we can do the smart thing and make the switch to Google Documents.

Let's just do it already.

6 Hours at the Airport.

Nothing can prepare you for old age as can a trip to the airport.

I had this brought home to me today after I'd agreed to see a friend off for an important audition in Manhatten. Long story short, there was some confusion over departure times - mostly on my part, though I still reserve some blame for aertel.ie - and I arrived at 8am: eight hours before his plane was due to leave.

Spending that many hours in a place that I have no business with is surreal. I'm not flying anywhere. There's no trade going on here, no mutual benefit - unless you count one coffee in eight hours (I don't). I'm clearly not going anywhere or meeting anyone. I'm just some guy in the airport. From eight until four.

In the psychology of dreams, airports are supposed to represent death. I totally agree. In my reality, today's adventure into inertia represented that stage of near-death: old age.

For an hour or two I strolled around reading signs and posters clearly designed for people too stupid to be allowed in anything as dangerous as an airport, let alone a flying machine. With absolutely no sense of achievement I learned all European cities and their capitols, the right way to wash my hands, and that a condom can prevent an STD. I have issues with the choice of venue for this level of education. If people didn't learn these things in school or on the street, what hope for them is there at the airport?

But I was in no position to comment on stupidity, because by hour three of my fuck up I was reading the 1994 By-Laws that govern aerodrome procedure. These laws are helpfully placed on nearly every wall for people to stop and read. I have no doubt that countless travelers have missed their flights because they were distracted en route to the terminal by the 1994 By-Laws that govern aerodrome procedure.

Remarkable the things people choose to put into law. It is prohibited (Article 8, if memory serves) to release large numbers of birds near an airplane, allow animals to graze freely on the lawns, and - my favorite - to offer information to someone without permission. And who was our Minister for Transport at the time to sign these into law? Our latest Taoiseach, Mr. Cowen.

And why forbid these things at all? As a city boy, I can't think of a more diverting way to pass the time waiting for a flight than observing sheep at their work. Or seeing large numbers of birds released from a wheelie bin and watching them fight their way out amongst the jet engines. Even trying to offer a lost tourist some information is apparently forbidden.

Right. So far on the 'How Old Are You' scale I've got meandering and reading notices that have absolutely no bearing on my existence. Next: Going to Mass.

I've been to Mass five or six times in my whole life. Today, I remembered why. Mass is boring. So boring in fact that afterward I committed my fourth act of old age: falling asleep face down in public, in the middle of the day, my hand still gripped around my coffee cup on the table, and after being awake for only four hours. Airports have powers of time travel this way. The Tardis was probably a converted airport.

Male menopause symptom No. 5 was talking to people who obviously wanted nothing to do with me. I attempted to strike up a conversation with an old Canadian couple from my well-grooved armchair in Starbucks. Apparently ''How are you?'' is none of my business. Pricks.

Frequently trips to the toilet (sometimes only to wash my hands, again), stealing newspapers, and clear dementia in the eyes of others - the evidence was piling up. 5% discounts suddenly applied, and I suddenly started caring about them.

Airports make you old, but only for the time you're there. It's fleeting. How do I know? On the bus home, I searched through my pockets for a free bus pass. I didn't have one.

Pay-Per-Minute Internet.

I spent my last 1 min 40 sec creating this blog. Should have brought more money.

More on coffee, acting like an old person, and the 1994 Airport Bye-Laws later.

Wait until you see how much I know about the 1994 Airport Bye-Laws, Section 8 in particular. I've become an extension of wikipedia on the subject.

All will become clear in time.